Comments:

JenUK - 2005-01-27 09:23:26
All I can say, as I watch my gangly, inquisitive, and increasingly interesting 10 year old grow, is that your time now with Ping is really important, as important as any career, and it will go away before you blink (see, I say this only in retrospect--you remember that day Z was born as clearly as I do I bet and it was 10 YEARS AGO!!!). So, hang in there, do the things you love, and relax some. Your talent will find its way in the world in time. This I know (spoken just like an older sister, I know).
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Moxie - 2005-01-27 09:27:55
Holy shit. Are you me? (Without the puppetmaking stuff, though.) A friend of mine is convinced I should be writing for a living, and keeps hounding me to send her magazine article outlines and book outlines for her to pass on to her friends in publishing. And I'd love to do this, and know I have enough to say to get paid for. But. I'm just so enervated by the day's events, every day. And I have this loser freelance job that sucks all my work energy out of me. So I get ideas churning through my head while a) I'm on the bus with El Chico on the way to soccer, 2) in the shower, 3) at playgroup, d) anywhere but a place to write them down and really work on them. The famous people thing hit, too. Last night, after our date, my husband and I were sitting at the diner near our apartment, and my husband was talking about feeling bad that hardly anyone had commented on a post on his blog that he thought was pretty funny. Just then Ethan Hawke walked by. Bleh.
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bmamasmom - 2005-01-27 11:17:27
Do you forget that at age 40 I went back to school,after, and while, spending years with you kids(loving every crazy, intense, exhausting, day of doing the mom thing) and went on to find my own career (albeit not as famous or lucrative as you yearn for, but rewarding and fulfilling in most ways...let's face it, I stayed in upstate NY). The direction I took at age 40 was the result of all the community activity, artistic and cultural, endeavors,interaction with people,etc. experienced while "staying home." There is time. Relax. Enjoy the ride. You are still you, multi-talented, beautiful,curious and soon (too soon) you will be free to pursue your own life. Keep exploring your talents now, don't stop. All this experience is valuable and will help you make decisions later. Once Ping is a bit older you will go on. Trust me. Keep on the Sunny Side. Life is good...except in upstate I never get to see Ethan Hawke.
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santosha - 2005-01-27 13:23:12
A book you may find interesting is Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts, edited by Bee Laveder and Maia Rossini. It won't solve what you're feeling, but it will certainly let you know you aren't alone in feeling that way.
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Brooklyn Mama - 2005-01-27 16:50:57
Of course, I DO love being with Ping - otherwise I wouldn't be home with her. This isn't really about her, you understand, but about teaching vs. art, or something like that.
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Amy - 2005-01-29 16:52:37
That New York thing you describe works even when you live in New Jersey and only visit New York very occasionally--everyone seems rich, successful, and so lucky to live in the best city on earth. On the career side, no matter how many people tell me how quickly the time will pass, and no matter how much I do believe them, this feeling of everything being put on hold indefinitely feels suffocating much of the time, especially since we are working on #2 right now. And your talent is obvious to me, someone who has never met you.
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StayhomeDad - 2005-01-30 14:57:02
Hey Brooklynmama, Boy do I know how you feel. I also have the added pressure put on the males in this society of feeling like I have to be supporting my family too. Plus I know my wife would like to switch places with me from time to time, but I don't have a career so I don't have the salary potential that she has. Money is tight, time is tight and creative thinking is tough to accomplish amidst the diapers, snacks, meals, laundry etc, etc, etc. The pace gets a lot faster before it slows down. I don't live in NY, but I know what you mean whenever I visit. All I can say is live in the moment, know you are doing a very important job right now and there are a lot of people out there, (like most of the parents of the kids you take care of all day), who have chosen their careers over the early years of their children's upbringing, granted not always by choice, but I promise you that some will regret that choice. Remember, that in the end, it is the love of your friends and family that is the most valuable asset. Once this time is gone, you can never get it back.
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