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Careering from Career to Career
January 27, 2005 - 8:38 AM There�s no place like New York (and that includes Brooklyn, by the way). And there�s no place as depressing as New York when you are feeling unsuccessful at your career, or lack thereof. There�s something about being in such close proximity to the multitudes of highly successful and famous people who pass by you in the street, live in your neighborhood, and jog by you in the park (you - meaning me - I might add, are decidedly not jogging) to make you notice your own lack of fame, success, and money. And there�s nothing like working for highly successful and creative people . . . which I don�t do, exactly, but I do teach their children. Over the ten years or so I�ve been teaching in Brooklyn, I�ve taught the children of novelists, actors, television and newspaper journalists, museum curators, filmmakers and (famous) artists, not to mention the usual assortment of wealthy lawyers, doctors, business executives, and the like. This year alone, I have tiny students who are the children of Pulitzer-prize-winning novelists, successful singer/songwriters, and a member of a (very) famous political family who also has a thriving career in film. I need to be vague here folks. Let�s just say that they�re a successful bunch, and I am their children�s first teacher. And I am NOT happy. I have enjoyed teaching preschool � a couple of years there I really even loved it � and I am very good at it, but I have always felt conflicted about it. It�s a HARD career, a low-paying career, and a career that gets very little respect (oh, the stories I could tell). It�s also a career I fell into rather than consciously chose. And the fact is, there are many, many things I love to do much more than teaching. The point is, I�ve never been completely satisfied with the idea of teaching as my ultimate career, even while it has paid the rent and provided me with health benefits, and allowed me to spend time with a lot of great kids. But, still. I�ve felt a lack, and an ambition to do something . . . else. So throughout the years I�ve been teacher to the children of successful and creative parents, I have also striven to be somewhat successful myself in a variety of creative fields. Ah, yes. I have, over the past decade, worked at being an actor, a singer, a clown, a puppeteer, a puppet maker, a director, a printmaker and an illustrator � or various combinations thereof. Of course, all my creative ventures have had to be done in my spare time, while I was not teaching. Perhaps you can see part of the problem here . . . I have a shitload of creative interests without the time, energy, confidence or wherewithal to achieve meaningful success at any of them. I've had some mild achievments in each of these areas, though nothing to make me believe I could have a viable career in any of them. (I know, I know, they're not even financially viable careers under the best of circumstances, I KNOW, damnit.) So it�s been a little tricky. My attempts to develop a career in the arts while teaching is sort of like my attempts to think while being with Ping. My head spins with ideas all day � I have lots of time to develop the beginnings of thoughts and ideas, but no uninterrupted time to expand upon them. So, lots of time to think, but no time to think deeply. I�m sure if you�ve spent more than fifteen minutes at a time with a two-year-old you understand. Or even if you�ve spent fifteen minutes on the phone with the parent of a two-year-old. Which brings me, of course, to the fact that now that I�m a mama too, and Ping�s primary caregiver, the career thing is only that much harder. Being with Ping all day � as heart-meltingly wonderful as it is, is also really shockingly hard at times. So, now I balance my creative ambitions (which seem to be leaning toward illustration and printmaking these days) with caring for my child and teaching. Did I say I am balancing these things? Well, truly there�s nothing particularly balanced about my life right now. And I can�t help but feel twinges of jealousy toward parents who do seem to have it all � the money, the careers, the brownstones, the flexible schedules . . . I�m not complaining about my life or my family here. It�s just the career I�d like to establish. |
The true adventures of the best baby in Brooklyn and her crazy parents! What I'm Watching: What I'm Reading:The Love Wife by Gish Jen Check It Out:TudorBook - The chronicles of an American girl in England. She loves comments
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